Reporter & mentor probe Shanghai's erotic nights

[Anchorman]

"Right now, Shanghai is the hottest spot in Asia -- believe it. It's got those famous karaoke clubs with hostesses, massage parlors and erotic baths. It's evolved beyond anything we Japanese can imagine."

So says the pseudonymous "Goya-sensei", who in Shukan Taishu (5/28) offers to serve as guide to his understudy, reporter "Pokoni," for an in-depth orientation into the sensual delights of China's largest city.

After a comfortable 3-hour flight from Tokyo, our reporter friend was met by Prof. Goya outside the customs area at Pudong International Airport. En route to the city, the sensei advises him that while sex-related services are officially verboten in China, the authorities generally take a hands-off approach to hands-on lechery.

"But sensei," he protests. "Aren't Japanese occasionally caught up in busts? I mean, I read stories in the news from time to time ..."

"Yeah, well, those do happen, but they're just done to keep up appearances," he explains. "The crackdowns generally occur just before Chinese Lunar New Year or the October 1 National Day. The rest of the time, as long as you confine your cavorting to conventional activities, you won't have any problems."

Goya-sensei then brandished a free newspaper crammed full of ads clearly aimed at visiting Japanese males.

After an inexpensive, but somewhat disappointing 300-yuan (4,800 yen) quickie at a Korean-style massage in the city's Hongqiao district, the two then proceeded to a deluxe sauna in the neighboring Gubei district.

The shop shared the building with a Japanese-style restaurant.

Charges for a bath and foot massage, followed by a 60-minute "special massage," come to 620 Chinese yuan (about 9,900 Japanese yen), or even better, a deluxe 90-minute course that includes two girls simultaneously that costs 1,000 yuan (about 16,000 yen).

After enjoying a relaxing soak in the tub, our reporter was escorted to a private room upstairs, where he had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of a slender celestial beauty, 22 years old, who stood 160cm tall. Her name was Xiaohua -- Little Flower.

About 70 percent of her shop's clientele are Japanese, she tells him, speaking remarkably serviceable Japanese.

"Japanese are big-hearted, so I like them," she smiles fetchingly to Shukan Taishu's reporter. "Okay, please turn over and lie face down."

Ingesting a mouthful of water, Xiaohua then proceeded to lick her customer from shoulder blades to feet, in every pore and orifice. And we do mean every. Which prompted Pokoni to moan, "Ooohhh sugoi" (this is fantastic)!

"We call this water-and-tongue treatment 'binghuo' (ice fire) in Chinese," she confides to him.

Then Xiaohua got aboard the legendary "red swing" -- using a red cloth strung through two poles running along the ceiling to suspend herself upside down in midair -- in an acrobatic finale that Pokoni describes as a red-winged angel performing an antigravity blowjob!!

"Uhhhh, Xiaohua, I can't hold it any longer!" he groans ecstatically.

"Ahhhhh! Haaa!! Dao le! (there it comes)," she gurgles.

After moving to the recovery room, Pokoni indulged in some complementary won-ton and exchanged banter with the sensei, who informs his understudy he had potently pleasured his own partner using a pearl-implanted penis probe.

"Sensei, what can I tell you? This was incredible!" he remarks.

"Yep," he chuckles, "The Shanghainese really know their business. Some even attended college in Japan. And some shop owners are even Japanese.

"Since the competition is so intense, I think things will get better and better, with China learning from Japan as a role model. This country will become a 'Pink business advanced nation,'" he predicts. (By Masuo Kamiyama, People's Pick contributor)